The Jenkins Family Top 25 of 2023
JenkFam kept things moving this year, as per the usual, living our bicoastal lives — that’s the Eastern and Western Shores of the Chesapeake Bay — spending our fair share of time in both the Shire and Mordor.
We brought Molkky, Europe’s hottest yard game, to the Eastern Shore and Northern NY (where we observed Angela’s unorthodox skittle tossing style).
We tried Bojangle’s Hard Sweet Tea (the first sip is surprisingly great, the second through the rest are surprisingly awful) and Death Row Records-branded grape-flavored Hard Seltzer.
We enlisted the help of some novice bartenders to make Mint Juleps and Palomas.
We learned to make Chopped Cheese (life really is a-ok with a Chopped Cheese in your back pocket).
We learned that kids think the perfect Wavelength clue when the wedge is halfway between A Sandwich and Not A Sandwich is “Bologna Sandwich” (but the perfect clue for adults would obviously be “Molten Chocolate Lava Cake”).
JenkFam in 2023 was all rizz. 100% gas. No mid, no sus. [Etta, did I get that right?]
We made it to Disney World in March, where Neil fulfilled a lifelong dream of forging a lightsaber under the watchful eye of God Emperor Mickey. We had fun in Hershey Park with the Tomeys (twice) and spent a few days exploring San Francisco and the Redwoods in Northern California with Taylor and Jessica (once was enough… jk jk lol). Our Airbnb had a Star Wars Pinball Machine. A STAR WARS PINBALL MACHINE.
We had our fair share of home issues this year, starting in Cambridge with major plumbing issues, repaving our sidewalk, dealing with our neighbor’s pecan tree shedding giant limbs in our backyard, and, ultimately, an attempted break-in in Cambridge (we weren’t there when it happened and we are eternally grateful to Adam Tomey for getting up at 2am and dealing with the police and helping take care of the remains of our back door while I drove across the bridge).
North Potomac started to get jealous of the lack of attention and surprised us with a leaky kitchen ceiling (it was the toilet upstairs), a leaky basement ceiling (it was the dishwasher in the kitchen), and a new furnace (it was the old furnace dying).
While many Millennials and Gen Z’ers dream of being a home owner, I’m wondering if we can go back to renting. Insert comic rimshot.
Etta continues to grow and be amazing. After finishing 4th grade, she spent most of the summer in camps in Cambridge, including four weeks of sailing camp. Amy and I couldn’t have been more proud of her ability to learn quickly, go with the flow, and teach us new sailing terms at dinner every night. Riding bikes with her to and from camp everyday was a highlight of the year. 5th grade has been great for her as she enters Middle School at Barnesville, changing classes and having a locker. She played volleyball this year and is learning the bass guitar, all while continuing to love art.
Noah and Hannah continue to get along well on their own. It’s fun to meet up with them for Korean BBQ or have him stop by and put his new contracting skills to the test and fix a hole in the ceiling (hey, I thought it was another pipe that sprung a leak and not the toilet, ok?). We really enjoy the times they are able to come with us to Cambridge. Etta and Maybelle love spending time with their Brother.
Amy didn’t leave DARPA without trying to avoid her opportunity to fly in a real fighter jet, going so far as to nearly break her butt while roller skating to try and get out of it. She finally gave in, met a fighter pilot with the call sign Nightmare, pulled multiple G’s, and even sort-of, kind-of got to fly the jet for a bit. I’m sure she’ll be happy to tell you about how much fun it was… again… and again.
She continues to thrive in her new role as an Office Director at HARPA [Dammit, Neil, it’s ARPA-H!! — Amy]. She’s building a great thing there and her work will definitely pay off for all of us in the end. When she’s not working work, it’s time to work church or work Girl Scouts. She still finds time to play with her sister-from-another-mother in Cambridge, where they dream about mimosas and Longwood Gardens. She’s now up to three large containers of nail polish and I can no longer smell it when it’s time to change it up every 12–18 hours.
Oh, did you hear that Amy got to fly in a fighter jet?
I couldn’t let Amy change her job this year without me doing it too, so I moved to Cisco Talos in March. I work with an absolutely amazing group of people. The culture and mission are fantastic and I’m learning a ton. I actually got back into teaching this year, training our analysts on a new tool and regularly holding Office Hours. It felt like it was Cornell all over again. I found something in my life that I didn’t even realize was missing. I forgot how much I love to teach and how rewarding it can be. Life outside of work continues to be board games, Magic, beer, bourbon, barbeque, being Adam’s First Mate on the boat, and walking with my bestie.
Maybelle continues to be the best of the puffers and walks backwards better than any doggo on Earth. I always thought I had a solid routine, but you can set your clock by Maybelle’s schedule: breakfast, first nap, walk, second nap, lunch, third nap, move to another room, fourth nap, dinner, playtime, fifth nap, late-night potty, then bed time.
But we know why you’re really here. It’s time for The JenkFam Top 25 of 2023. We continue to seek out the hottest of the hot jams, listen to them constantly, and argue about what’s best. This year’s list was dominated by one young, hyper-prolific artist in particular, to the extent that we had to adjust some of our long-standing rules to fit several of his songs on the list. Etta even snuck in a couple of her favorites this year, and I encourage more of this in the future… except for the Katy Perry songs, of course.
We hope you enjoy what we enjoyed this year. Turn the volume up and imagine yourself sitting in Friday afternoon bridge traffic with JenkFam!
Here’s the link to the YouTube list.
Here’s the link to the Spotify list.
Amy: “What did you do at sailing camp today, Etta?”
Etta: “We sang.”
Amy: “What did you sing?”
Etta: “Sea shanties”
Intro: “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans
25. “California” by Phantom Planet
The first song we played in the rental car after landing at SFO. Also a fitting tribute to the 20th anniversary of “The O.C.”, a key piece of early Jenk Fam mythology and lore.
24. “drive ME crazy!” by Lil Yachty
aka, Neil discovers early ’20s SoundCloud rappers.
23. “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder
Stevie Wonder was the subject of Etta’s last 4th grade project and it became an excuse for me to dig out lots of Stevie albums and facts.
22. “Every Day Like the Last” by Wye Oak
21. “Better Place” by *NSYNC
aka, Etta discovers late ‘90’s boy bands.
20. “I Remember Everything” by Zach Bryan, ft. Kacey Musgraves
Do I remind you of your daddy in his ’88 Ford?
Labrador hangin’ out the passenger door
19. “adore u” by Fred again…, ft. Obongjayar
18. “All the Gold in California” by Sturgill Simpson (aka Brother Marshall and The Choir of Fire)
We needed a song to commemorate Amy and I binging The Righteous Gemstones, which we started this season since I heard Sturgill Simpson was in season 3. If you haven’t watched it yet, do yourself a favor and give it a shot. It was the source of so many family jokes this year.
This song won out over “Misbehavin’”, mainly because the latter isn’t on Spotify. Walton Goggins is a national treasure. “Come on, Baby Billie!” “Baby Billie’s Bible Bonkers” is the 2023 version of “Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog.”
17. “This is the Day” by The The
We salute you, Guardians of the Galaxy Awesome Mixes.
16. “(Herman’s) House” by Special Interest
15. “Calm Down” by Rema, ft. Selena Gomez
14. “Fast Car” by Tracy Chapman
I was never more disappointed in Barack Obama than when he put the Luke Combs version of “Fast Car” on his summer playlist when he could have put the Tracy Chapman version.
13. “No More Lies” by Thundercat and Tame Impala
12. “Personal Effects” by Chromeo
The “She loses hair ties all the time” lyric really hits home for us. For both of our shes.
11. “She Calls Me Back” by Noah Kahan, ft. Kacey Musgraves
Intermission: “Mahna, Mahna” by Cake
10. “Johnny Dang” by That Mexican OT, with Paul Wall and DRODi
2023’s proof that playing a song over and over again around Amy will get her to move from “What the hell is this shit?” to “Hey, that song needs to be on The List!”
9. “Only Daedalus” by U.S. Girls
8. “Sober Side of Sorry” by Zach Bryan
’Cause the sober side of sorry ain’t a safe place to be
There’s a cigarette rollin’ through the tips of clenched teeth
I don’t need much, just somewhere to sleep
Someone please remind me who the hell I used to be
The sober side of sorry ain’t a safe place to sleep
The sober side of sorry ain’t a safe place to be
Perfect songwriting. This was the moment I realized I loved Zach Bryan.
7. “Strange Currencies” by R.E.M.
Yes, Chef. Heard, Chef.
It’s hard to imagine a better show than The Bear. I suppose Andor Season 1 came close, but that soundtrack wasn’t stacked with Wilco, Counting Crows, R.E.M., and multiple other 40-something Dadcore bangers.
6. “In Your Love” by Tyler Childers
We were never made to run forever
We were just meant to go long enough
To find what we were chasin’ after
I believe I found it here in your love
5. “Mine Again” by Zach Bryan
And this was the song where Amy realized that she also loved Zach Bryan moment.
4. “Sarah’s Place” by Zach Bryan, ft. Noah Kahan
This song slaps and served to introduce us to Noah Kahan, which clearly had some lingering effects on the list.
3. “Use Me (Brutal Hearts)” by Diplo, Sturgill Simpson, and Dove Cameron
Sturgill Simpson (as “Johnny Blue Skies”, his second recording alter ego this year, I guess) singing over a disco/dance beat with a Disney-channel actress that was in the Descendants movie series? That couldn’t possibly work, could it?
2. “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” by Tears for Fears
Guardians of the Galaxy’s Awesome Mix series of soundtracks has put in a lot of work for JenkFam over the years. At Disney this year, Etta and I had to try the new EPCOT ride based on Guardians. Amy was scared to ride it, DESPITE HAVING FLOWN IN A REAL LIFE FIGHTER JET WEEKS BEFORE THIS, so Etta and I went by ourselves. Once you’re on the ride and moving, this song starts blasting. The ride was great, but Etta was focused on asking about the song when we finished. It’s stayed with us all year and ended up being my most played song on Spotify Wrapped this year.
Side note: we convinced Amy to go back and ride it with us again later, wondering which of the other songs we might get. We got Tears for Fears again… and that was perfect.
- “Fear and Friday’s” by Zach Bryan
So, Zach Bryan. I found out about him last December when I typically do all of my reading about top albums of the year, looking for things I may have missed. We started listening to him then and found out just how much there was to listen to (several EPs in 2022, a triple album in 2022, a live album in 2022, an album in 2023, more EPs and singles, etc.) and just how good he is. Amy and I joked that we could have ended up with a full list just of Zach Bryan songs, which is hilarious and dumb because no one has time for that.
But why this song at #1? It’s raw. It’s passionate. It’s fun to sing in the car. And we all heard the following on first listen:
I got a fear, dear, that it’s gonna end
Won’t you get Henrietta, say you love me again
I got a fear dear, that it’s a Friday spark
You only love me like you mean it when it’s after dark
Of course, the actual lyric is this, and it sums up a lot for us sometimes:
I got a fear, dear, that it’s gonna end
Won’t you get angry at me, say you love me again
I got a fear dear, that it’s a Friday spark
You only love me like you mean it when it’s after dark
Thank you, Zach Bryan, for being a huge part of our 2023.
Outro: “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” by Jean Shepard
The song from “The Carousel of Progress”, Amy’s favorite ride at Disney and my #2 favorite place to take a nap at Disney World.*
*You’re stuck in an air-conditioned room for at least 20 minutes and, if you’re lucky, the ride will get stuck on one, maybe even two, of the eras and you’ll have to repeat it, extending the length of your nap.
